Single On Purpose: Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First.
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My Review - This book came in right when It was needed most in my life. Not because of any relationship issues but because I felt a loss of connection with myself. Let me tell you at the utmost that this book is not about singlehood or specifically for people not in a relationship with another human. This book is about bonding with oneself. No matter the reader is single or in a relationship or anything. The book talks about how important it is for oneself to have a real connection with themselves before having anything with someone else. No matter the status of the relationship, one must know, understand and prioritize their own relationship with their inner self than any other. That's how one can rejoice in every other bond. And that's what made me attracted to this book. I too agree with the thing about our relationship with self-being the most prioritised relation than any other in our life. A few chapters did feel bonkers and the reader is the one to either adapt or trash them. The quotes, the life experiences of the author and his patients is what gave this book a real-life catalogue of stories that can be related here and their by us. This thing made the book much more unique and relatable by me and probably to you too if you choose to read so. May it be a hard break up or lonely singlehood or happily ever after a relationship or joyfully singlehood, I recommend this book to all those feeling a bit lost and trying to find themselves in the hush and bush of everything.
I never had a home. I mean I’ve always had a place to live but never a home. A nest. My definition of home was to actually own one but since I was always renting, I never put any effort into where I was living. It was just like a motel. A place to sleep. So I never bought the kind of furniture I would like. I never “decorated” my pad, never had plants and candles and rugs. I remember I had a dinner party for nine people once and only had eight forks. This isn’t when I was in my twenties living off of Cup-O-Noodles. It was just a couple years ago in my forties. Some days are going to be easy and some impossible. That's where self-compassion comes in.' (Loc. 572) It’s time to reframe the narrative of being single and embrace what I learned when I finally chose to be alone:
Technically my ex as of yesterday. I realized on a retreat at Joshua Tree. Yes, I was on mushrooms, but I had this revelation. I was only with him because it made sense. I’ve never really been attracted to him, and it’s not fair to him.
I will not be in a lopsided relationship where they don’t make space for me to hear my story and understand my emotions One of the sections of the book that spoke to me is the discussion about the need to love and understand your body. I struggle with this, but it’s so important. Knowing what makes your body thrive and communicating that to your partner when you have one is something learned in time for many and it’s something that will only add to your own self appreciation in the long run.
My goal in writing this book is to start that process for you. To introduce you to you—for many of you, maybe for the first time. I will recommend this book to someone who just went through a breakup, has a hard time being single, has an unsatisfying relationship, or, wants to find purpose in life while being single. This was a good book that taught me that sometimes what we think is love can be just be familiarity. Lastly, the most important relationship in your life is yourself and when you have a good relationship with yourself everything else will fall into place. Read more
Prior, I haven't put much thought into being "single," I used to believe it didn't mean anything. This book will educate you that there is so much more to it. This book is also for anyone who is currently in a relationship but the dynamic has changed. You’ve drifted. Grown apart. The in love has turned to in lost, and neither of you know yourself anymore. There’s lots of finger-pointing, sex is scheduled or doesn’t happen at all, and you’ve both lost touch with the individuals you were when you came together. You might have complaints about your partner but are coming to realize that it’s not really about them. It’s not about changing anyone or fixing the relationship. You have no more energy for that. It’s about starting with you.Okay, let’s put a bookmark there. Tell me about some of your other previous relationships. Would you like a coffee? I’ve had hundreds of sessions just like this. Different stories, but all the same. It’s why I wrote this book. We don’t know how to be single. It’s a journey most do not embark on.